Tom Earl’s Online Expression Session Free Write : Introspection

An inward inspection - an investigation. Ideally like Sherlock Holmes sifting through the clues in microscopic detail, ascertaining understanding about myself that I haven’t had before. If only it could be done like Sherlock - without emotion blurring the magnifying lens. In fact, when introspection is forced, it becomes more like James Bond is on the case - emotion becomes its own magnifying lens, and like a heat seeking missile zones in on faults and mistakes and explodes them up so that fire comes from the core and my whole body flushes with a warmth that is uncomfortable and stark. But times like this, I make like Hercule Poirot - seeking stillness , and in meditation, I clear my mind and brush away thoughts of myself and others with a firm hand. When I slide into introspection as I hike, it is a gentler investigation - Miss Marple pottering through the facts, forming quiet hypothesis and testing them out.

But regardless of how many clues I enlarge, pull out, dust off or unearth, I remain an amusing mystery to myself.